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Pemberton Festival a no go! [09 Jan 2009|02:10pm] The Pemberton Festival, a Live Nation-promoted event that launched last July in British Columbia, will not be staged in 2009, according to the company. "We will not produce the Pemberton Festival this summer due to the fact that the necessary permits were approved too late in the year for us to effectively book talent. We are moving forward and focusing on 2010," reads a statement from Live Nation, which has rights to use the site for a festival for nine more years. Pemberton was headlined last year by Nine Inch Nails, Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, Coldplay and Jay-Z. The event was Live Nation's first major entry into the North American festival market, though the company produces several in Europe and the United Kingdom. Pemberton's capacity was 40,000 per day, with more than half of that campers. Live Nation Canada president Shane Bourbonnais told Billboard last year that startup challenges included such issues as transportation, alcohol licenses, water and infrastructure. There was also an education process for local authorities. "This is a small town, they're not used to seeing this type of stuff," he said. Source   I'm so bummed about this.  This was the best festival ever. cmnt

[22 Sep 2008|11:51am]  always able to see the silver lining in things.  So i have racked up a huge CC debt, almost 8000 $ , and collections called telling me that I have till oct 07, to pay back 1000$ of it.While I freaked out a little, the a- type personality in me , has become obssed with writing out lists and ways to pay it back. so far , I have paid off half off the grand so far, and when i get paid this week, and next  ( yay two cheques!) I will be out of the red. its been a wake up call, and im now suer frugal, its like my new thing .  but the silver lining in the event, is that because i only have 22 $ till i get paid to live on, i have started a new diet- the  you have to eat every thing in your pantry before going grocery shopping diet.  I'm going to tell you  surviving on  soup and crackers has helped me loose over 8 lbs this month! yay! I only have 7 more lbs to go till i'm at my short term weigh loss goal. I know  i can do it, and then i'll be able to wear a cute halloween outfit.  who would have thought that debt would make me happy. cmnt

[01 Mar 2008|07:49pm] i love you.  forever.  cmnt

[15 Jan 2008|03:58pm]  it is so weird when  horoscopes are right-- It's hard to put too much effort into your future goals when things are so demanding in the present moment. Nevertheless, allow time away from your current responsibilities so you can open your mind to what's around the next corner. Don't worry if it seems like you're not making much progress today. The pace should quickly pick up next month. cmnt

[02 Jan 2008|10:21am] You said when youd die that youd walk with me every day And Id start to cry and say please dont talk that way With the blink of an eye the Lord came and asked you to meet You went to a better place but He stole you away from me And now she lives in heaven But I know they let her out To take care of me Theres a strange kind of light Caressing me tonight Pray silence my fear she is near Bringing heaven down here I miss your love I miss your touch But Im feeling you everyday And I can almost hear you say "Youve come a long way baby" And now you live in heaven But I know they let you out To take care of me Theres a strange kind of light In my bedroom tonight Pray silence my fear she is near Bring your heaven down here You taught me kings and queens While stroking my hair In my darkest hour I know you are there Kneeling down beside me Whispering my prayer Yes theres a strange kind of light Caressing me tonight Pray silence my fear She is near Bringing heaven down here The next time that we meet I will bow at her feet And say wasnt life sweet Then well prepare To take heaven down there cmnt

[29 Dec 2007|02:38pm]   this has been the most stressful time in my  life. fuck fuck fuck. My mum, my beautiful mum, is dieing. I know tis has been aparent for the last two years with cancer, but now i can see it, feel it.  My mum is shrinking daily because she is so sick that she doesnt want to eat, and when she does, she vomits it up.  its hard for her to sit up for a log time because the cancer is in her bones. i am a bloody mess.  I thoujght that i would be more able to handle this. but i'm falling a part. this is too much.  i would just wish for my mum to have one day of not aganizing pain, and a dayfor us , her family to not be stressed out and emotional wrecks.  just one day. thats all im asking for. cmnt

[25 Oct 2007|07:23pm]   my mum has a blog, and she wrote me the most beautful letter  on it the other day.  This is why I will miss her so much.     Woke up thinking about Natalie - so it is she I will write about this morning.    Dear, sweet Natalie (who by the way knew what a paradox was yesterday without the need of a dictionary or her mother's explanation).  Natalie who has scored great grades on the results of her mid-term exams (two results rec'd, two more to go).   Natalie, as little Elmo stomped on my pillow so early this morning, I thought of you.  Thought of all the gifts you have brought to my life - like this very needy little orange cat LOL.  Once up, and while I fed YOUR cat, I thought about all the gifts I still want to give to you.  Not big expensive things I could buy at the mall, but good gifts - like good, yummy recipes.  Natalie, you are turning into such a good cook on your own, that perhaps you don't need my old recipes.  Lord knows I seldom use one any more,  but I remember being a much younger cook and I did.  I want to teach you more about cooking - about how you must FEEL the dish - how you "know" when to stop adding extra ingredients.  I need to teach you just how a pyrogi should look, how a good curry sauce should taste, how to dress a salad to perfection.  I want to show you how to cook like I do most nights . . . . open the fridge and start pulling out ingredients.  No recipe, no real meal in mind.  Great meals that cannot as you and Dad know be repeated because by the time dinner is served, your mother has forgotten what went into the pot or pan.    And I want to give you so much more.  More memories.  More Christmases and birthdays of course.  But just more of us, sipping tea in the living room while we both have our noses in a good book.  I want to nag more too LOL!    Damm this illness has stolen too much from us.  It will take away so many experiences - and it will not be the big moments that you mourn, but instead, all of those little things, like watching (poor) chick flicks together, chatting in the car as we take a long drive, your embarrasement at your uncool mother who knows "nothing" about any current music or stars.  Will Dad remember that the goats at the petting zoo prefer Shreddies instead of Cheerios?  Or that the marmots need whole wheat crackers?  Or that you should have been told years ago to store your nail polish in the refrigerator?  Nope.  There is still so much I need to tell you, to teach you, to share with you.    And even if I had a whole lifetime ahead of me, it still wouldn't be enough.  You (and Dad) know my motto "I want it all . . . . and then some."  This morning, that is the thought that prevails in my head.  For you Natalie, I want it all.  I want you to be happy and content.  I want to share in those moments - to hear you giggle with delight.  (Maybe not hear "that" tone as you sometimes reply "nothing" when I poke my nose into your business where it doesn't belong LOL).  But I do want it all - for us.    I still need to tell you that Grandad used to sing "Jimmy Crack Corn", smoking his pipe as he drove us in our old family station wagon on vacations when I was a young girl.  I need to tell you that your Grandma in Kelowna was, despite our teasings, a damn fine cook.  How she amazed me when I was about your age by baking her beautiful Christmas loves in old coffee cans.  (I had never seen anything like that!)  You must know that your other Grandma could clean and filet a salmon quicker (and better) than any fisherman I ever met.   Those are old memories that I want to share with you.    And we should be making buckets of new ones.  Oh, we will in the next few months, but we both know they will not be enough.   I'm sorry Sweetie Kitty.  I don't want to break your heart.  Moms are supposed to heal - not break hearts.   I'm so very sorry.   cmnt

[05 Oct 2007|12:52am] from http://www.paulgoldinresearch.com/cg/index.htm so true At this particular time you are feeling the results of extreme stress and you are seeking a 'way out' but you are pushing too hard. Obviously you need peace, tranquillity and contentment. Your temperament is such that you are hoping, unrealistically perhaps, that your desires will shortly be fulfilled (even if at this time you are not quite sure what those true aspirations may be!). Of late, everything seems to be going so slowly - far slower than you anticipated - and this is causing you much anxiety and frustration. It would appear that there is little you can do about the series of events that now seem to be taking place. In spite of the fact that you feel like 'giving up' - don't. Take a deep breath and start over again and you will find that eventually the expression 'All's well that ends well' will have an extra special meaning for you. All the problems that you have been experiencing of late seem to have become a part of your life and there is little that can be done to change the situation. Your emotions run high - but even though you feel as if at times you are about to burst this situation will pass. Try to release your pent-up emotions by participating in some extra physical activities like running, swimming, whatever. There must be some favourite pastime, not necessarily strenuous, that can help you to relax. Whatever you strive to do, something always seems to be holding you back. There is no subterfuge in you. You are a clear thinker and all you demand from life, in a relationship, is a partner whom you can trust and with whom you can, together, develop a foundation of trust based on understanding. You are your own person and you demand freedom of thought to follow your own convictions. You have no interest in 'two-timing' and all you seek is sincerity and 'straight-dealing'. You wish to be left in peace... no more conflict and no more differences of opinion. In fact you just don't want to be involved in arguments of any shape or form. All you want is for 'them' to get on with it - and to leave you alone. cmnt

[02 Oct 2007|08:30pm] I'm learning to find the little things, that make it worth getting out of bed. Today it was : 1. When I went to buy smokes the old lady stared at my ID, for a bit, so I cocked my head, and gave a cheezy smile, just like the on on my ID. the lady started laughing. It was very cute. 2. The little black squrriel, that ran in front of me. It was soacking wet. I love the little guys. 3. being called pretty today. cmnt

[01 Oct 2007|11:28pm] I remember laying in your bed, currled up in your sweats. Your dirty laundrey pundled up in the corner. We both had a little to drink. You told me I was the only girl to be in your bed, with out sleeping with you. I giggled and turned away from you and went to sleep. I think I might have snored. But you didnt mind. You taught me how to make bangers and mash, in your filthy kitchen. You pretended to be my boyfriend- in order to save me from some slimy guys at the club. You called me miss Canada. And told me i was beautiful. I remember hugging you goodbye in the rain. We havn't really talked since. Your friends told be you where an asshole. But i wouldn't belive them. I wrote you an email , proclaiming my love for you. You never wrote back. Its been a year and a half since then. But, if you conntacted me tomorrow, I would forgive you for everything. I miss you. cmnt

[26 Sep 2007|08:53am] As long as I can dream, as long as I can think, as long as I have a memory, I will love you. As long as I have eyes to see, and ears to hear, and lips to speak, I will love you. As long as I have a heart to feel, a soul stirring within me, an imagination to hold you, I will love you. As long as there is time, As long as there is love, As long as there is you, and as long as I have a breath to speak your name, I will love you. Always, Your little sister, Natalie xo cmnt

[24 Sep 2007|12:35pm] The other night, my parents where visting, and we went out for a swish italian dinner. The kind of place where a salad is costing you 20$ or more. The food was good, but the best part had to me when the owner of the resurant sang, in Italian, to my mum. the singing, not that good, but my mums face, was priceless. It was that look of unbridled joy, that face that you can't fake. The kind of face you mainly only see in young children, before they become jaded by life. I wish I could just bottle that up and have that some times. Those four minutes , are going to be four minutes that I never forget, When I get married, any my mum isn't there, I'll just remember that look, and it will help me through it, beacuse , I know if she was there , she would have that same , perfect smile, just for me. cmnt

[18 Sep 2007|12:27am] Did chance make you my brother Or did the Angels really send Someone to share my childhood And become my dearest friend? You were always there for me My strength when times were tough You gave so much, and in return Were never thanked enough. Although now you're gone I feel we'll never be apart When the times we shared in growing up Are always in my heart. Shining in the memories I've so safely tucked away My brother who the Angels sent Is with me every day. You were 'the best' brother 'One in a million' I'll never stop missing or loving you Til we meet again. cmnt

[16 Sep 2007|07:10pm] my mum is on a new pain coctail right now, and she says that she almost feels like she isnt sick. i talked to her on the phone today, and she sounded normal- somthing that hasnt happened for a while!! no more permi- tired in her voice. Shes coming down to the coast next week, and I'm so excited to see her. she even gained a pound ( a big thing because in the last year my mum went from a size 10 to a zero from chemo and cancer crap)!! I'm so proud and happy for her! yay! cmnt

[14 Sep 2007|08:50pm] I am so excited for halloween this year. my Melba toast might take the treck down to the coast for a night of insane mischive. I havn't had a WILD night in far to long. sure there have been the drinking mights, but the insanity nights where nothing is planned then suprise, its 8 am the next day and you havn't slept yet, you are in some ones house that you dont even know, and you pray no one took pictures of whetever the hell happened the night before, and you have work in half an hour. That is what i want. cmnt

[11 Sep 2007|05:51pm] In two weeks, I'm going home to spread the ashes of my brother. It will be ten years to the day , since he died. I never went to the funeral, as I my self was in ICU, just wakng up from a coma. I've never really grieved over his death. I have never outwardly cried over the event to anyone. It was just somthing that happened. He lost his life for me, and was doing somthing he loved. It was ment to be. He was ment to be forever thirteen,never having a first kiss, car, long- term girlfriend, or wife. I never got to see him become surly, like all teenage boys get, never saw him drink, smoke, party and make stupid mistakes. He died on the cusp of all these tyhing, at a time wher the future was so promising. Instead he is rememered at a funny outgoing young boy. A boy that loved his family and gave his life for it. When we go to spread his ashes, it will be offical to me, that he is not here. I know that this one event will hit me like a tonne of bricks. Its then, when my parents and I watch his ashes float into the air, that I will have to say goodbye. This will be the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, and it scares me to death. I wish he was here. cmnt

[06 Sep 2007|08:58am] I've started wearing my mums brand of perfume, just so that I'll have somthing to remener her by daily when she dies. it reminds me of her hugs. cmnt

[22 Aug 2007|11:37am] so my mums been pulled from all the chemo, and we are told to keep her comfortable. this fucking sucks. cmnt

[15 Aug 2007|02:11am] this not being able to sleep is starting to become really annoying. cmnt

[12 Aug 2007|08:53pm] some days are harder than others. cmnt

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